i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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