i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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