So drunk, too bad you don't want this
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
