batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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