Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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