If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize