just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize