He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
