Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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