Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
