no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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