Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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