A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
