He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
