If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
