Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize