Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
