Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
