drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
