So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
