I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
