Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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