You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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