We need to rekindle our bromance
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
