We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Congratulations! We have a period
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
