I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
