yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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