not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
