dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
