I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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