I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
