We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
