Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
