I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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