as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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