Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
