If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
