"it" just moved
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
