And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
we're so committed to being not committed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
