idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
