I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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