I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
