Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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