Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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