nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
