He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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