what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
