thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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