lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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