Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
