Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
