She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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