Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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