I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize