handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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