I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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