My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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