he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
