Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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