I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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