They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
