I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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