i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
