When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
