hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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