STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
